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Friday, 23 September 2011

RELATIONSHIPS AND ITS ISSUES



It’s just dreadfully heartbreaking when you hear a lot of stories based on what spouses go through in their relationships and marriages, and when you are being ill-treated by your spouse, mostly the ladies. For example, your partner disrespecting you and on the whole the love turns to disrespect. There are a lot of issues regarding the debris of most relationships. Communications is a key issue. 
In situations where you need to get your point across, how do you do it constructively without getting insignificant quarrels, slanging matches and plate-throwing contests, and the moment you tell him "Honey, we need to talk", the minute the word leaves your mouth, you see his face freeze up. He already knows what you want to discuss with him and apparently he tries to evade the whole thing. Some guys end up niggling and telling their partners never to bring up the issue again because he feels you both have dealt with the issue. You also need to discover the derivation of the problem. this is the first tip many of us fail to do. Instead of accomplishing the core issues, we stay away from it by talking around the issue (talk about topic that are not consequential), sweeping it under the rug, pretending like it doesn't exist, and talking to others about the problem instead of talking to the person who has caused the dilemma. If you cannot tackle the problem, you will constantly keep having communication problems. 
The issue of past relationship baggage need to let go. You have to be over your exes and you have to be over the damage as well. A solution is to be able to comprehend that an ex is no longer a part of you anymore and you are with somebody else. Some may ultimately turn out to be the issues of comparison (e.g.  my ex girlfriend or boyfriend use to take me to the beach every weekend). Now, you are already welcoming jealousy because it sounds like you have not yet gotten over you ex, and you still keep in touch with your ex. Its best you stay friends in as much as you also reduce the baggage too. Once its over between you and your ex, I mean its done and dusted, and over. So do not cross boundaries because it would definitely affect your partner. Get rid of your baggage to avoid jealousy and lack of trust in your relationship.

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